Let all mortal flesh be dumbstruck
For the dedication and blessing of a new
stop on a church organ.
1. Let all mortal flesh be dumbstruck,
and with fear and trembling stare;
ponder things unearthly alien,
for, as vuvuzelas blare,
an ungodly sound descendeth,
awful horrors rend the air.
2. Rank on rank of rank 'vuzelas,
in the vanguard and behind,
blast the blast of blasted trumpets,
drill as dentists' endless grind.
Here the powers of hell will vanquish
music, then unsound the mind.
3. At that shriek, the six-strong choir
air a hymn with wide-eyed fear.
Hiding faces from th'excrescence
we, our voices strangled, hear
"Kyrie eleison, mercy;
heaven help us, God most dear!"
With apologies to:
- Liturgy of St. James
- Gerald Moultrie (1829-1885)
- Austin C. Lovelace (1919-2010), from whom I nicked the "Alleluia" to "Kyrie" substitution.
While I realise that "unsound" (verse 2, line 6)
is not officially a verb,
it nevertheless seems an appropriate neologism
to describe the consequent aural effect on the mind.
But feel free to substitute "unhinge" if you wish.