For the dedication and blessing of a new vuvuzela stop on a church organ.
1. Let all mortal flesh be dumbstruck, and with fear and trembling stare; ponder things unearthly alien, for, as vuvuzelas blare, an ungodly sound descendeth, awful horrors rend the air. 2. Rank on rank of rank 'vuzelas, in the vanguard and behind, blast the blast of blasted trumpets, drill as dentists' endless grind. Here the powers of hell will vanquish music, then unsound the mind. 3. At that shriek, the six-strong choir air a hymn with wide-eyed fear. Hiding faces from th'excrescence we, our voices strangled, hear "Kyrie eleison, mercy; heaven help us, God most dear!"
Copyright © David Lee, with apologies to: